Can't stop the train; it must roll

It shall roll to find someone to take away these blues:


All the way 'till the new Armageddon. All in the Name of Tragedy:


All the while--playing for the high one, dicing with the devil.
Going with the flow, it's all a game to me:


For I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
For my image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name

I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
Your bones will build my palaces, your eyes will stud my crown
For I am Mars, the god of war, and I will cut you down.

There's no reason. I did it because it fun.

And now for a word on pranks, trolls, and social deviancy from the Black Pimp himself.



There are some things, however, that just cannot be done.


Moreover, it is important to never be rude or disrespectful. People really ought to keep this in their collective heads at all time.

Happy (inter)national Day of Slayer

How to participate is posited succinctly at The National Day of Slayer HQ:

Slayer is a band from California. Their music has come to epitomize Satanic speed metal music in the latter half of the 20th century. Their 1986 album, "Reign in Blood" is one of the single most influential metal albums of all time, typified by the modern classic "Angel of Death".

Official Statement on Participation

Listen to Slayer at full blast in your car.
Listen to Slayer at full blast in your home.
Listen to Slayer at full blast at your place of employment.
Listen to Slayer at full blast in any public place you prefer.
DO NOT use headphones! The objective of this day is for everyone within earshot to understand that it is the National Day of Slayer. National holidays in America aren't just about celebrating; they're about forcing it upon non-participants.

Taking that participation to a problematic level

Stage a "Slay-out." Don't go to work. Listen to Slayer.
Have a huge block party that clogs up a street in your neighborhood. Blast Slayer albums all evening. Get police cruisers and helicopters on the scene. Finish with a full-scale riot.
Spray paint Slayer logos on churches, synagogues, or cemeteries.
Play Slayer covers with your own band (since 99% of your riffs are stolen from Slayer anyway).
Kill the neighbor's dog and blame it on Slayer.

MALLEUS MALEFICARUM, Maleficas, & earum hæresim, ut phramea potentissima conterens.

This is just awesome. The progressive element of the lead guitar paired with an old-school thrasher aesthetic results in a captivating sound that instills within me an undeniable sense of heroism in spite of modern life's futility.

"LOL."

Either way, Pestilence's "Consuming Impulse" is one of those albums I picked up in high school but haven't really started to appreciate until fairly recently. Forget about less-capable "Progressive" Death Metal stalwarts like Death (and here I would welcome your cheeky comments about the coincidental nomenclatures of the aforementioned band AND their respective genre of music), because this is some truly inspired/innovative death metal.

Click here if you want to see Tom Araya say "Slayer in a Muslim Country??"

Because this here video TOTALLY DELIVERS in this regard.



DEGREE OWNING HEAVY METAL ANTHROPOLOGIST Sam Dunn plunges into what looks like another fun documentary about metal [albeit most likely campy as hell]. His other film, Metal: A Headbanger's Journey (Its Youtube'd into ten 10-min segments) seemed to be a genuine defense of metal as an art form--buuuuuuut I hope the uninitiated take it with a healthy grain of salt.

Some fun interviews though--Dio is amazingly charming, as is Tony Iommi, and I think I have a crush on sociologist Dana Weinstein (I like the idea of coining metal as a transcendental sort of Sturm und Drag).

A few caveats from the top of my head include Alice Cooper (FOR SHIT'S SAKE SHUT UP), portraying Twisted Sister's Dee Snider as a HEAVY METAL SOCRATES, and the guy from Slipknot talking about how metal is "THE LAST BASTION OF UNABASHED MALE SEXUALITY."
(sigh)

Either way, I'm anxious to discover just what happens when "heavy metal goes global."

On a popular social networking site, I put "Slayer" under the "religious views" section

I'd like to interrupt this relatively long period of inactivity to bring to you the greatest thing ever committed to digital film.



(Especially from about 3:30-4:40)

I think I hear the flower children calling

Will you join us in making the world a heavier place?